dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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