Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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