Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
worst night to have a conscience
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Randomize
