the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
