From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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