Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
