Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
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