If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Fuck appropriateness.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Randomize
