She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize