But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Non-Jews are for practice
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Randomize
