TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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