Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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