Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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