Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
