Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
You are a genius and a whore.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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