one might say we're banned from that church
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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