There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I forget how to act sober
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
