I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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