you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Randomize
