I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
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