I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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