i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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