isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Randomize
