Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
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