there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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