yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
