it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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