I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
