I'm lost and stupid without you.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
