no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
