he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize