She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
