Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
