in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
