You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Randomize