i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
