But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
