She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize