im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
