I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
