Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
