Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
