babies were throwing up all over the place
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
