You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
