fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
