Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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