I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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