Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
