I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
