Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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