Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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