Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
