ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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