TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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