Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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