I hate all girls vehemently.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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