I molested 6 butterflies tonight
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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