I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Randomize