his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Randomize
