Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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