Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Randomize
