Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
