I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Randomize