Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
