White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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