I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
