I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
