I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
