I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Randomize
