Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
