yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
